Let there be light!

As I am learning what my own teaching style is, I try to give myself feedback after every class about what I didn't say, and also what I can do better.  I try to always ask if people are working with any injuries.  I also try to assist people with their asanas by doing various things.  So in honor of the Summer Solstice, I am reflecting about my "bad assist", with the knowledge that talking about it will bring new thoughts to light.

Since starting teaching, I had used my hands on people only to bring their awareness a certain part of their body.  Usually you can bring your hand over to a part of their body, and the student will get their alignment straight using their own senses.

But for one class, I decided I needed to assist more.  I set the intention to "get in there". I went in close to the student and hugged her body try to get her weight to shift a bit more forward over her hips, by pulling her weight out of her feet. She was a student I knew well, and I felt she would appreciate the help.  Well, she shifted her weight, and then got off balance.  While trying to help her not fall, and to keep her body from falling over, my hand ending up right in her groin area.  I didn't know whether to acknowledge that I  touched her there, or just pretend it didn't happen and keep going forward with the assist.  I ended up saying I'm sorry, and moving forward, which I think was the right thing to do at the time.  I don't believe she was offended.  I, however, thought about the incident for days.  I felt terrible.

Ohhh, I thought about the bad assist for days afterward.  I was worried that she felt uncomfortable, worried that she had a bad expereince.  Worry, worry worry.  I had a hard time talking about it.  I mean, people go to yoga to relax.  My fear is that she thought about it after that moment.

Now I have been a professional dancer for many years, and I have changed in many quick changes backstage, and certainly have lost all my modesty when it comes to people seeing my naked body, or accidental touches during partnering and streching excercises.   I just don't have the sensor but I know that some people do.

I just have to remember that, while teachers are their to share information, most of the time, the teacher is the one that learns from the students.  If I had to do it again, I would have asked her, "are you OK", and then kept going with the assist.  And also, I want to be humble about assists.  I need to keep in mind that the student know exactly what to do.  Most of us were upside down all the time when we were younger, and as teacher, we must guide them to find that playful part of themselves.  Create an environment of safety and fun, and yoga class can be a place to discover who you are and what your body is capable of. If the teacher has that intention, than the student will feel better in the safe space created by the teacher.

Cycles of Change

We are currently in the cycle of a full moon, moving from scorpio to Sagittarius, additionally also coming up on the summer solstice.  In this cycle of change, are we will to let go, to be willing to release whatever is holding you back, and dance through the fire during these cycles of change.

Alternatively, if you can let go and enjoy the changes, or rebirths, then we can ride the wave of the ocean a bit easier.  I realize I have been holding onto something.  Perhaps it's an idea of what my career should look like, or what should be happening at this age that I am, but I feel stuck in so many way when it comes to matters of my career.  I suppose this is a normal feeling for renaissance women, those looking to learn and grow, and be a moving piece of evolution.

I recently learned from this amazing Vedic astrologer, how the scorpio to Sagittarius aspects of the planets affect our personality.  If the moon affects the tides and the water, how can the planets not affect what happens here on Earth?!  After my yoga class, I was able to think about things I have been holding onto.  I realized that I don't need to worry, I could just dance through them and have faith that the universe knows what is best, and that everything I am doing, is exactly what I am supposed to do right now.

A Love Letter

I love this video and have recently rediscovered it.  Kristian Anderson, who is battling cancer made it for his wife and it brings me to tears every time I watch it.  In honor of love, I am reposting it here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyWFJNvcr_c

Good Class/Bad Class

One thing studying yoga has taught me is to look past the paradigms of black/white, good/bad, etc.  But, I know when a class is going great, and now also when I am having a plain bad class.  I had taught three or four classes when I had a class in which the energy was just .... i'll say zippy.  There were about three or students who had never taken yoga, so there was the challenge of keeping the poses basic enough for them.  The problem arouse because in my mind, I had a complete plan of doing a VINYASA FLOW CLASS, and it was difficult, ahem, to flow, with beginner students.  I basically had to do a beginners workshop with the class, which is helpful to every student, even those who consider themselves to be advanced.  But beyond this changing plan, my i-pod didn't work, the CD they had at the place was horrible, then began skipping, then when I shut the music off all together, the outside gym was playing music circa Ibiza 1998.  Sigh.

I think my problem was two-fold.  I was hell-bent on a plan.  Second, I was insecure because I was so attached to the class being "good".  There was one student, who seemed, angry, and left the class for a few minutes.  I tried very hard not to internalize it all, that she was mad at the class, at the music...well, lets just say the mind was spinning out of control.

It took me a few minutes to get it together, practice what I was preaching (literally I had add some pranayama breaths during the class for my own benefit), and finish the class with my drishti towards the goal.  The goal being = finding the flow and holding back my judgements.  It felt good to get my very first class out of the way, and in the same thread, it felt good to survive a zippy, weird energy, teacher challenging- kind of class behind me as well.

Finding My Teaching Style

I really have to post more often.   I do have a wonderful excuse, as my fiance is now officially home from a 19 month long job taking him all corners of our amazing nation.  While traveling, I was lucky enough to talk with one of his cast mates, Julia Osbourne, who sings like a bird, AND teaches yoga.  I know she is a wonderful teacher because she has taught at Sonic, but more so, because you can count on her to have light in her eyes all the time, and they light up a room.

So in my haste to learn as much as I can about teaching yoga, I have decided to interview teachers about their teaching style so I can find my own style.  Beginning to teach is, I must admit, terrifying. I make up sequences and study the cues for each pose, and just try to be as prepared as I can.  So.... my plan was to ask Julia about what cues she would give for a standing split. Sweet girl, one matinee down and one show to go, she took me aside in the lobby of the theatre and illuminated my class planning one Sunny afternoon in March.

The thing is, as we all find out, plans don't always work out they way they were planned.  Instead of writing down the cues that she would teach, and perhaps the preparations poses she would do, I learned something that day that I now remind myself before class every time I teach. "Create an atmosphere of relaxation, in where the students aren’t afraid of doing something wrong.  Most students, new students especially aren’t used to being touched, unless they are doing something wrong."  Becoming aware of that was really big.  Oprah would say it's an "ah ha moment".  I think she may have said this off the fly, but it was something I'll always remember.  It's so important for the atmosphere to be open to people trying new things.  She reminded me that standing on one foot is not a normal occurrence for most, and that simple reminder will benefit my teaching from now on.  I am so used to yoga studios in the city, where people are SERIOUS about yoga.  I need my classes to be about trying new things.

She also said, "people all know their own bodies really well, even if they don’t know it yet” and you're there to guide them.  They were upside down a lot when they were younger!"  I found this conversation so useful, that I am going to interview more teachers for other tidbits of wisdom.

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My First Official Yoga Class (and don't teach with retainers on)

My first official yoga class was supposed to happen in December, but since we had over two feet of snow fall in New York, a few days after another snowcopolopse amount, basically that class never happened and they closed the gym altogether.

But, I had another chance to do it last Monday (thank you Rachel!), at a beautiful loft gym in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. I had three students, all different levels (having asanas with various levels of modifications really helped with this).  I had prepared the class in December, and the entire day once again inFebruary, integrating the movements into a Lam chakra themed, root inducing asana practice. My long term teaching goal is to keep my classes integrated with the eastern yoga philosophies.   I felt really good about the class, and while teaching, I realized that I need to keep my voice in a healthy pitch range while teaching because otherwise, my voice would get tired quickly.  Thank goodness I took off my retainers because I would have been dealing with dry mouth and hyper awareness about them.

I never realized the funny looks people give you when they are being challenged in their asana poses.  I was convinced they all hated the class, but then the feedback afterwards was really good from them.  At the end they had on a "yoga face", where they were basically zonked out and feeling good, but really, never really thought about the looks on my face during class until I taught a whole class.  It makes sense.  People really aren't looking happy and relaxed when balancing in vasisthasana (arm balancing side plank).

My two major lessons, well three lessons that I learned from teaching were, never wear retainers, ignore scary weird looks from students during class.  Oh the third, I was glad I felt uber prepared with a lesson plan.  

Letting it Flow

I have finally gotten to practice yoga asanas consistently, getting myself to class lately.  That practice is something I struggle with every day.  Committing my time to yoga on a daily basis, or at least, every other day comes slowly, first getting to class once a week, then twice a week and currently, getting there every other day.  When I make lofty goals of going every day and failing these goals every day, I realize that this does not help my yoga practice.  After all, isn't yoga about being good to yourself, and beating myself up over my daily failure of practicing just isn't cutting it.  I need a new plan.

I realize that when I applaud myself for every battle won instead of reminding myself everyday of how I didn't make it every day is a much better plan.  So what can I do that is a fail safe?  My new goal is  to practice at a Sun Salutation daily.  This is an easy goal to achieve, and in addition, to give myself 5 minutes of silence, or mediation.  Daily.  Why is this so difficult!?!?! It seems so simple staring back at me on this computer page, but it just isn't.  Looking at my habits, I certainly have 5 minutes to look at the TV screen every day.  This makes no sense.

I like yoga because it is so inclusive.  Anyone can do it.  My friends and family tell me how they are not flexible, and how they not suited for yoga, but yoga should be for everyone.  Asanas are focusing on yourself, your body and where you are today.  I found this three minute warm up by Shiva Rea, a teacher introduced to me by my teachers at Sonic Yoga



Above is a link for suitable for everyone, even beginners.  It is a simple Sun Salutation, aka Surya Namaskar.    If I don't make it to class, I can do a few of these, and climb up the proverbial mountain of meeting my daily goal of practicing asana.  I am now making the choice to turn off the TV and give my self some attention instead.